Most people think networking means going to job fairs, amassing connections on LinkedIn, and hobnobbing with industry professionals. They’re not wrong. But networking is so much more.

If you’re a Harry Potter fan, you may remember the speech Professor Snape gives to all his first-year potions students. Most of them have come to Hogwarts thinking that fancy spells and impressive charms will turn them into great witches and wizards. Potion-making, Snape explains, is not about “foolish wand-waving and silly incantations.” It’s a subtle science and exact art. 

Networking is the same: it’s not about how many LinkedIn connections you have or how many job fairs you’ve attended. Rather, it’s an art—mainly, the art of relationships—that you can’t learn or practice perfectly all at once. If you’re one of the select few who posses the predisposition—i.e., you’re a born people-person with a knack for creating lasting relationships, you may find networking relatively easy. But for everyone else, here are a few secrets to perfecting the subtle science and exact art of networking.

1. Networking is a two-way street

You probably know at least one person who only reaches out to you or others when they need something. Regardless of whether or not you’re always happy to help, after a while you’re going to start wondering if they’re only interested in what you can do for them, not who you are as a person. 

Networking is the same. If you only reach out to your contacts when you want them to help you secure an interview or land a promotion, they’re going to be less interested in helping you out. On the other hand, if you helped a former coworker successfully complete a big project and have kept in touch with them even as the two of you have gone your separate ways, that’s a valuable contact who might just be willing to bend over backward for you.

2. Networking never sleeps

Maybe you’ve played the networking game, landed a great job, and don’t see yourself ever needing to do it again. Don’t get too comfy. You never know when a work friend or professional contact will come in handy, and even if you never need to find another job, making friends in your office and field can help you out in plenty of other ways. 

Find ways to help others, even if you don’t anticipate needing the favor returned. Practice listening actively to your coworkers and professional friends. Stay in touch with people you worked well with or learned something from. You just never know.

3. Networking is about respect

No one owes you anything. If you approach networking with that attitude, you’ll flunk out of the class. Anytime you’re asking for a favor or trying to connect, ask yourself how your actions look from the other side. Is what you’re asking for appropriate? Would you appreciate someone approaching you in this way? 

Above all, respect people’s boundaries and avoid being pushy. Most people—yes, even Professor Snape—are good-natured at heart, and if you’re a reliable, trustworthy individual, most of the people you approach will probably be happy to do you a good turn. But push too hard, and they’re likely to reconsider.